Confidence Building
As children we are born with naturally high levels of confidence that unfortunately, can get chipped away over time by adverse life experiences. Think of a child when they begin learning to walk and talk, most children do so with lots of confidence and self-belief. At no point do they think, “Oh no I won’t do that incase I fall or get it wrong and look silly” so why do we take on this perspective now?
The reason is, when we are young children, our self-worth and value comes from an untouched intrinsic source within. But over time and as a result of having to conform to societal norms and values, at some point usually during late childhood, we begin to take our self-worth and value from outside ourselves, usually from those around us. The good news is that confidence can be rebuilt again with a change of perspective and a little bit of time and effort.
Tips for building confidence:
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Become aware of that pattern of taking your self-worth and value from those around you and begin giving yourself the approval you are looking for from others.
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Accept yourself as you are and give yourself the permission to be who you are instead of who you think people want you to be.
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Look back and reflect on times where your confidence may have been dented – look at them with fresh eyes and reframe the experience if possible from the perspective of someone that greatly values themselves – if someone treated you unkindly, it was about them not you.
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Look at the areas where confidence is lacking and ask yourself, what would help me or what do I need to feel more confident in this area of my life?
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The quickest way to build confidence is to begin treating yourself with self-compassion and kindness, as oppose to judging yourself harshly and criticising yourself – start noticing your self-talk, start treating yourself like you would treat a loved one and finally, please be kind and gentle with yourself.